It Just Doesn't Stop

I am not asking for an easy, stress-free life. I am not asking to be free of problems or pain. All I am asking for is a couple of months that are free of financial problems. Is that too much to ask?

All year, the bad crap just keeps piling on. It just doesn't stop! At the beginning of the year, I had no car and sixty dollars in the bank. Until I got paid last week, I had no car, AND SIXTY FUCKING DOLLARS IN THE GODDAMN BANK! It's just bad crap after bad crap! Can't I have a break for two measly months?

The last two months make me want to jump off a fucking bridge! First I get in a minor accident. There goes almost $200 to fix my friend's car. Then the car needs a $1000 brake job, and buddy asks me to pay half. What am I going to say? He's been nice enough to lend me a car FOR EIGHT MONTHS, and since I've been able to save exactly zero dollars towards a car of my own, I may have to drive it for another eight. If I tell him to get lost, then I am minus a car. So there's $500 I owe him. Super. Last week, one of my teeth exploded, and a filling popped out and ran the fuck away. So on top of everything else, I've got to get that fixed. Sure, I get some of that back from my employer's health insurance, but I have to pay up front and submit a claim. No, I didn't need those extra couple hundred bucks! Why would I need those? I'M MADE OF FUCKING MONEY! WHEN I TAKE A DUMP, INSTEAD OF POO, THERE'S GOLD BRICKS!

Everyone has unexpected expenses. Bad things happen to everyone. I understand that. I accept that I am just like everyone else, in the sense that bad stuff happens to me, just like it happens to other people. But this year, it just never ends! Every time I manage to scrape together a few hundred bucks and dream my modest little dream of a 20-year-old beat-up shit box car of my own, something inevitably happens and the money's gone. AGAIN. I am so sick of this stupid, endless stream of crap that I swear to God Almighty that if anything else happens before now and Christmas (an occasion that will reduce my bank account to a double-digit laughingstock all by itself), anything that costs me more than fifty bucks, I WILL JUMP OFF A FUCKING BRIDGE. I'm serious. I will kill myself out of sheer spite. Take my money, will you? Fine, try getting any more when I'M DEAD! Good luck with that, motherfuckers.

I am not complaining about where I am in life. I have reached the point where I have accepted my lack of ambition. I am okay with not owning a house or vacationing in Italy. I don't need to be driving a brand new BMW. All I am sick of is the string of bad luck that just doesn't stop, and that is preventing me from even owning my own car. All I want is a late 80's or early 90's beaten-up piece of junk to call my own. Is that too much to ask? I'm not asking for a lottery win. I just want two or three months of smooth sailing so I can BUY A GODDAMN CAR. I want a break from bad luck, just for a little while, but the bad luck just doesn't stop. Fuck.